Trader Joe's Fig Cookies, 284g

Newton’s three laws of motion are more or less as follows: (1) “objects at rest or in movement will remain in those states unless acted upon by outside force,” (2) “greater mass requires greater force to cause acceleration,” and (3) “for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.”

How do these laws relate to TJ's Fig Cookies? We’re glad you asked. First, these cookies will absolutely remain in their package—at rest—until acted upon by an outside force, such as, say, your dessert-desiring hand. Second, it’s absolutely true that it takes more force to lift an entire 284 gram package of Fig Cookies than it does to lift a single Fig Cookie. And that third law? Well, every time you take a Fig Cookie into your mouth, a signal is sent from your taste buds to your brain, and suddenly, your cookie-eating action is met with an equal and opposite reaction… like the sudden impulse to take a second cookie.